Switching teams
by aznillusion183
Summary: Yaoi. Definitely yaoi. Explicit, hard-core, mindless, random yaoi. Zoro x Sanji. Need I say more? Well, it's a Valentine's day special.


A/N: Yeah, so uh, as you can probably tell after reading this, my plot-formation skills are shot to hell right now. Rather than making an awful, pointless chapter for one of my series, I'm just going to write this. So this is just an explicit, smutty, yaoi, Sanji x Zoro Valentine's Day special that I wrote after reading a lot of doujinshi.

---

Sanji's least favorite holiday might have been Valentine's Day.

Of course, he didn't mind the whole giving and love aspects of it. He was more than willing to go all out for his favorite women in the world—all of them—just to commemorate this special day.

However, he detested the principle behind the day.

After all—"WOMEN OUGHT TO BE LOVED LIKE THIS EVERY DAY!"

He screamed that on Valentine's Day at the break of dawn to the waters on the Thousand Sunny's figurehead, when the rest of the crew was still asleep. Most of them weren't even aware of the holiday. Now, though, they were all well-informed. Had they known him since his Baratie days, they would have expected this proclamation and worn earplugs in advance. It was a yearly tradition for him, to yell at the ocean with that exact phrase.

A wave of well-aimed pillows and shoes was chucked at him. He retreated into the galley, avoiding the curses and yells of his sleepy crew. Today, he would make sure that the V-day spirit was truly realized, even if he hated how other men seemed to see the occasion as the only time of the year that romance ought to be expressed openly. Otherwise, it might have been his favorite holiday.

Hell, it probably still was his favorite, anyway. He went more ballistic over the menu than even during Christmas or New Year's Day.

A grumbling Straw Hat crew made its way down to the galley for breakfast several hours later. Luffy pushed the door open with all of his normal energy but stopped short when he saw the meal laid out before them. The rest of them pushed their way through and stopped short, mouths hanging open.

"What's the occasion, cook-san?" Robin asked politely, covering her mouth with one hand. Her eyes were crinkling into smiles at the corners, and behind her, Nami was giggling. A deep red tablecloth graced the table, and tall, thin-fluted vases with red roses and white carnations were set at intervals. Each plate was set with a heart-shaped waffle topped with strawberry cream and sliced fruits. Mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles were steaming beside the plates with bowls of fresh fruit placed between the tables. Pink and white silk draperies criss-crossed the ceiling, making everything appear to have a pinkish glow.

"It's Valentine's Day~!" Sanji sang, pulling the chairs back for Robin and Nami.

"It looks delicious, Sanji-kun," Nami said appreciatively. As everyone sat down, Sanji pulled plates of bacon and fluffy eggs from the counter, much to Luffy's enjoyment. Everyone was duly impressed with the display and taste of the food.

Zoro looked down at his heart-shaped waffle, a strange look crossing his face. He poked it, watching the cream run down the sides temptingly.

"Is there a problem, marimo?" Sanji growled in a voice that said, _You better eat it and enjoy it, you shitty bastard._

Zoro shrugged before picking up the waffle, examining it as one would examine a specimen in a lab, and stuffing it whole into his mouth. Everyone stared at this Luffy-ish manner of eating as he wiped the excess cream from around his mouth with the back of his hand and wiped it on the tablecloth. After chewing vigorously, he washed it all down with a single draught from the mug of cocoa, ignoring Sanji's growing outrage. Zoro then proceeded to grab a green apple from a bowl and stood, leaving the galley with a grunted "Thanks for the meal."

There was silence as even Luffy stopped eating to see Sanji's reaction.

He breathed in deeply through the nose and exhaled slowly, calming himself down. His eye twitched as he spoke in a cracked voice.

"So, does anyone want seconds?"

---

Zoro bit into the sour apple, relishing how it counteracted the sweet flavor of the waffles.

Give him meat, rice, and booze any day. Not any of that sweet crap. Protein and carbs were what made a man, not sugary treats.

Still, he had eaten the stuff because Sanji had obviously put a lot of effort into it. That's what mattered, right? The cook had tried to make it special and Zoro in turned tried to choke it down. Even if it was Valentine's Day, Zoro didn't hold for any of that romance garbage, either. The only thing a heart-shaped waffle did was jip him of a good portion of the waffle.

He threw the apple core of the side of the ship, looking for his weights.

---

Sanji washed the dishes vigorously, muttering "Marimo" and "Asshole" under his breath as he scrubbed the plates over and over again. He'd put his heart and soul into that meal, hadn't he? He had experimented for weeks with the waffle batter until it was _just right_, and fresh strawberries were hard to come by at this time of the year. The waffle-iron itself he had commissioned from Franky, who had gone all out and made four different shapes to fit to the iron.

Sanji shook the thought of Zoro's bulging cheeks as the man had eaten the waffles with a look of utter contempt on his face from his mind. He had ladies to woo, after all.

"Nami-swaaaan! Robin-chwaaaan!"

After he had given his goddesses their morning worship, he caught sight of the laboring swordsman in the morning sun, slick with sweat and panting from his drills. Ropes of muscles twisted with each movement, and flexed with every swing. The wind ruffled Zoro's hair, and when he shook his head of the beads of sweat, it made his face sparkle with the reflected light.

"Ugh, I need a drink. My throat's all tight and dry," Sanji muttered to himself, practically running back into the galley.

---

Zoro heard the cook's mating call with a grunt of displeasure. _Doesn't that idiot realize that he's going to be a virgin forever if he keeps that up?_

_Not if I have anything to do with it._

Wait. What?

It must be the sugar. It had to have been the sugar in that damned waffle that was getting to him.

Because Roronoa Zoro liked women. Well, he didn't _like_ them. He liked what they had to offer. He'd never do any of the things that Sanji was doing on V-Day.

He wasn't like the cook. He didn't care for their soft skin, coy tendencies, and whatever else made a woman a woman. Nah, he was in it for the fucking.

Which was why the few women he'd ever been with often found themselves alone in bed the following morning, if they were lucky enough to have escaped the travesty of seeing him just up and leave immediately after doing the deed.

That was probably why Tashigi hated him so much. If she ever stole his swords, she would castrate him with them.

He was getting a little tired of them, though. Women just weren't cutting it for him. What was a man to do?

---

Sanji set the finishing touches on lunch, beaming as the kitchen positively sparkled with good energy. Definitely good chi today.

"Okonomiyaki! I'd recognize that smell anywhere!" Luffy cried, hurling through the door. "Gimme!" The rubberman stopped short. "It looks…delicious?" Although Sanji didn't know it, the look on Luffy's face was similar to the one he had worn when he found himself wearing frills on Amazon Lily.

"Yes. It looks DELICIOUS," Sanji snarled in confirmation. He gestured to the heated grills that he had placed on the counter, with room for eight at the stools. "I premade a few to get started, but just tell me what you want and I'll make it for you. Okonomiyaki is best when you get to choose what's in it, right?"

"At least you're making real food this time," Zoro grumbled as he ambled in with the rest of the crew. Sanji duly ignored him as he tied his pink apron firmly around his waist. Zoro watched in fascination as the pink material cinched around his hips, emphasizing the slight transitional curve between abs and—wait wait wait, he wasn't going to go there. Right. Okonomiyaki. Don't think of anything else.

Sanji whipped up the fried batter cakes, mixing in cabbage, onions, meat, and other savory ingredients as the crew requested. All of the pancakes were topped with shredded seaweed flakes and a special sauce that formed, predictably, a heart shape. Usopp winked at Sanji when he received his, but a received a smack from both the chef and the swordsman.

"Ouch! Why'd you hit me, Zoro?" the sharpshooter cried indignantly. "What, you want in on the action?"

Zoro turned red and muttered under his breath. When Sanji stood in front of his seat, tapping his ladle impatiently on the oiled grill, Zoro looked at the trays of ingredients and requested "Squid, green onion, cabbage, and zucchini." He stared as Sanji unceremoniously dumped a dollop of batter on the grill, watching it sizzle as he tossed the ingredients on top, swirling it around until it was finished. He then topped it with another splatter of batter—Zoro winced as a fleck of hot oil hit his cheek—and flipped it over. When that was complete, he dumped it on a plate and shoved it at Zoro after squirting sauce on it to spell _Marimo_.

"Uh…thanks," Zoro said, poking his chopsticks into the mess and nibbling on whatever came out (he couldn't tell what it was). "Even though you treated mine like crap, it still doesn't taste half bad." Zoro didn't know what he had done to deserve this treatment, but he might as well make peace if he didn't want to be poisoned at dinner.

Sanji snorted as he moved on to offer Nami and Robin seconds. Zoro grumbled in complaint as he finished his pancake. As he licked the plate clean of sauce and vegetable flecks, he turned to Sanji.

"Oi, cook, got any sake?"

"Get it yourself."

Sanji looked at the plate that was licked clean and Zoro's okonomiyaki-streaked face with an odd expression.

Zoro went into the pantry to find himself a good bottle—Sanji's reply simply encouraged Zoro to get the best grog they had. When he came back, he found a neatly-made okonomiyaki steaming on his plate, with a curly heart carefully traced on top in thick sauce. He grinned a little as he dug into it with gusto. Sanji looked over at the swordsman and smiled slightly. "More okonomiyaki, Nami-san?"

---

Well. Since it was Valentine's Day and all, and since the damned chef was going ballistic over making everything perfect on V-Day—then he may as well participate, right?

After all, everyone else was getting into it. They'd heckle him soon enough.

Nami and Robin were wearing matching fitted red dresses with white hearts at the hems, flaunting their impressive cleavage and curvaceous bodies in a way that made Sanji swoon even more than usual. Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper had painted red hearts all over their faces and bodies and were running around shirtless in their boxers, much to Nami's chagrin. They had also clumsily cut out hearts from red paper and strewn them all over the ship. Brooke was playing romantic music on his violin, and Franky had donned red Speedo with tiny Cupids and an arrow…well, Zoro _really_ didn't want to get caught staring at the general area where the arrow was.

Sick, perverted bastard. At least Robin seemed amused.

Still, what could he do? He didn't have anything red to wear. His white shirt might have been red at some point, but he had washed out the blood before it had set. He didn't really like hearts or any of that crap. As he sat thinking on the deck, he felt the hairs on his neck prickling in danger.

He looked around, but even his reflexes couldn't save him when Luffy was on a mission. He found himself slipping on a pool of oil that Usopp had spread around him with a round of oil-filled balls shot from his slingshot, and Luffy trussed him up with a long red ribbon that he had found somewhere on the ship.

"You idiots! What the hell are you doing?"

"It's Valentine's Day!"

"Yeah, you've got to show more spirit!"

Crap, he should have just grabbed some of their paint and put red tribal streaks on his cheeks. Well, too late for regrets now.

"So what the hell is this, then?"

"We asked Nami about Valentine's Day and she said you're supposed to give a gift to the one that you love!" Luffy laughed hysterically.

"…"

"You see, Zoro," Usopp said, peeking out from behind a barrel once Zoro had been rendered immobile. "We knew that you wouldn't have had anything ready for Sanji, so we're helping you with your gift to him."

"Why the hell would I give him something for Valentine's Day?!"

---

Sanji puffed on a cigarette, listening to the ruckus on the other side of the ship. He couldn't tell what was going on, but shrugged it off as another one of Luffy's idiotic antics. As long as they stayed out of the kitchen, then he was fine.

Speaking of the kitchen…

He went back into his domain, looking at the round little tables that Franky and Usopp had helped him build for the occasion. Each was topped by a clean white tablecloth with seats for twos and threes, and garnished with rose petals and squat, white candles. Streamers were still on the ceiling, and there were two red velvet cakes baking in the ovens with bowls of icing in the fridge. Tiny onion quiches sat warming on the oven where the cakes were being baked, alongside vats of cheese and chocolate (in separate containers, of course) for fondue.

"Time to make the entrees," Sanji told himself as he rolled his sleeves up, reaching into the fridge for a few slabs of steak.

---

Zoro looked at the men standing before him who were inspecting the tied-up swordsman.

"Luffy. Usopp. Chopper. Franky. Brooke." His voice was low and dangerous. "If you untie me now, I might forgive you enough to only cut off one of your testicles."

"Ouch, dude," Franky said, wincing. "Talk about graphic. Brooke, you have the scissors?"

"Yohohoho, of course!"

"Cut off his clothes, then. There's no other way to do it without untying him."

"We can take his pants off just fine, though."

"True. Alright, I'll take the top, and you guys take the bottom."

Zoro snarled and kicked out as they approached him. He was hanging from the ceiling in a position that made him think of unpleasant sexual situations, but he wouldn't give in without a fight. "Get away, damnit!" It took all of the men to overcome his monstrous strength, but they eventually managed to remove the swordsman's clothing without any casualties, although a few of them were sporting lovely bruises from a surprise headbutt.

"You guys better not be doing what it looks like you're doing," Nami said as she walked into the room. She looked quizzically at Zoro hanging in his black boxers with scraps of cloth still hanging from his limbs, and at the guilty faces on the rest of the crew. "I know that Valentine's Day is supposed to be about love, but isn't this more like lust?"

"Ah! No, Nami, we're not going to do _that_ to him," Usopp interrupted hastily. "This is our Valentine's Day gift to Sanji. From Zoro. You catch my drift?"

She nodded. "I guess Robin was right. Carry on, then."

"You witch! How could you just walk in on something like this and say that?"

Nami slammed the door, cutting off any more words he had.

"It appears as though you're still heavily outnumbered," Brooke said with a grin. "Okay, everyone, I have an idea of how to present him. Bondage, you know? Yohoho!"

"Bro, even I find it weird that you would know something like that," Franky said, hanging Brooke the roll of ribbon. "Still, go ahead."

Zoro looked at their determined faces and sighed. He'd kill them when he got free of this mess. He flexed his muscles, trying to rip the ribbon apart, but was surprised to find that it didn't even tear a little.

"Silk ribbon reinforced with steel wires," Brooke said conversationally, arranging Zoro as one would arrange a manikin on display in a shop. "Just in case."

"What kind of sick situations are you preparing for?!"

---

Sanji stretched, glad that dinner preparations were finished. All he had to do now was prepare the pasta noodles, but that would take all of five minutes. He went outside and heard giggling coming from one of the storage rooms. The Thousand Sunny was so big that even now, there were some rooms that he had never entered.

"_Shh! Sanji might hear us!"_

"_Oh, come on. He's busy making dinner. He won't be around for a while."_

"_He'll definitely like this."_

"_What time is it, anyway?"_

"_Crap! Look at the time! Let's scram!"_

Sanji watched in curiosity as the other men in the crew burst out of the storage room and stopped short when they saw him. As Usopp quickly slammed the door shut, Sanji could have sworn that he saw a flash of golden skin and heard a muffled yell.

"What were you guys doing?" Sanji asked, not quite sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Uh…nothing!" Usopp said. "Well, actually, we were planning Captain Usopp's—hey, at least let me finish!" Usopp cried as Sanji began walking away.

"Hmph. Just go get ready for dinner," Sanji replied. "It'll be ready in half an hour. Nami-san! Robin-chan! Dinner's almost ready!" He danced out of the hallway.

"Phew…that was close."

As everyone gathered for dinner, Sanji counted heads. "Hm, it looks like a certain vegetable is missing. What happened to the marimo?"

"Ah, Sanji-kun, I'm sure he'll come in when he's hungry," Nami said quickly. She sat down at one of the small tables. "Let's just start eating, shall we?"

"Hai, Nami-san!"

Surprisingly, Nami was not joined by Robin at her table. The Devil Fruit user had decided to sit with a delighted Franky, and Nami was joined by a grinning Luffy instead. Usopp, Brooke, and Chopper sat at the table set for three, with the skeleton taking the seat that had been meant for Luffy. As he served the meal, he couldn't help but wonder where Zoro was.

_That bastard's going to taste the love I put into this if I have to shove it down his throat,_ Sanji thought darkly. _Wow, nice going, Sanji. Way to phrase it. Try to be a little less homo next time, would you?_

Even the voices in his head weren't helping at all.

"I'm going to go find that idiot," Sanji said absently, to no one in particular, as he set the last plate down.

Everyone exchanged looks the moment he was gone. This was going to be interesting.

Sanji strolled through the ship, looking for a mess of green hair and listening for the sounds of snoring. He found neither. Suddenly, he remembered the odd scene he had found with the other men, and made his way to that mysterious storage room.

Was that grunting that he could hear?

"Marimo, you better not be doing anything weird," Sanji said as he walked in with his eyes closed. "You really should do this kind of thing in the bathroom."

All he could hear was that weird grunting sound, although now it was louder and more urgent.

Sanji opened his eyes and blinked. Blinked again.

This must have been some horrible hallucination.

He was _not_ looking at the (almost) naked body of Roronoa Zoro hanging from the ceiling by red ribbons, with his hands tied above his head and his feet pulled back towards the ceiling. He was not drinking in the sight of those straining muscles as Zoro desperately worked at his constraints, sweating profusely from both nervousness and exertion. Zoro's mouth was gagged by a red handkerchief that was tied around his head, and he was blindfolded by another one. Sanji shook his head, pinched himself, and poked Zoro sharply in the ribs just to make sure that this was really real. Zoro mumbled something that sounded vaguely like "Stop staring and get me down from here, you asshole."

Sanji knew that he ought to go back to the galley to make sure that his precious ladies were supplied with second helpings, and perhaps the second course of the meal. He knew that he should get a few blackmail photographs right now. He also knew that there was something very wrong with the way he was responding to the stunning vision before him.

"Need help, marimo?" Sanji whispered into Zoro's ear, sidling up close beside the other man. His hand—he definitely wasn't in control of his own body anymore—rose and tickled Zoro's back lightly. Sanji told himself that he was just teasing the other man to make him uncomfortable, and to embarrass him as much as possible. He also tried to tell himself that he didn't like how Zoro shuddered, arching his back even further and squirming violently. Zoro shook his head wildly, trying to get the gag off. "Oh, you don't need help?" Zoro froze, shivering slightly.

"You want the gag off?" Vigorous nods.

"And you want to be freed of that nasty ribbon, don't you?" More nods.

"How does this feel?" Another stroke of the back, and another violent spasm. "Still want to be free?" Nodding.

"Sorry. I think I prefer to see you like this. Mute, tied up, and completely at my mercy." Zoro's head was shaking again furiously. "Oh, fine. I suppose it must be uncomfortable to be hanging from the ceiling like that." Sanji untied the line to the ceiling and watched Zoro fall to the ground with a satisfying thud.

Another grunt, this time of pain and fury.

Sanji nudged Zoro onto his back, sliding up the blindfold slowly with one finger. He could now see those glaring, demonic eyes looking up at him, promising a messy death in the near future.

He'd just have to convince him that he was worth keeping around then.

"Hm…" Sanji finally had to admit; those eyes full of death and ferocity were kind of nice when he was looking down at them. "What to do…what would you like, marimo?" Sanji found his hands, his sacred tools of the trade, sending soft messages to Zoro's own body as he stood with Zoro between his legs, bending over at the waist. He saw Zoro's eyes widen at his flexibility—surely the man had seen him use it in battle—and make those awful sounds from behind that gag.

Awful? Yes. They made him want to do terrible things to the other man.

Sanji placed his face close to Zoro's, enjoying the discomfort that was obviously on the other man's face. He had no idea of Zoro's sexual preferences, but if Mr. Prince was sporting a raging hard-on from this guy, then he had better get some reciprocation, damnit.

Sanji stood, and there was visible relief in Zoro's eyes. However, when he repositioned himself to sit on Zoro's legs and teasingly smooth the black cloth of Zoro's boxers, a desperate and almost pleading look came into Zoro's eyes. Sanji slipped one cool hand down under the silk, exploring pleasurably as he saw Zoro's eyes widen.

"You really don't want this, huh?" Sanji whispered, finally pulling the gag away from Zoro's mouth.

"Get the hell off of me, you disgusting pervert," Zoro snarled, snapping at the retreating fingers.

"Shh. You don't want anyone to come and investigate the noise, do you?" Sanji smirked. He pulled the gag back on, much to Zoro's displeasure. He was going to get as much pleasure from this experience as possible, because chances were that Zoro would cut off his fingers if he so much as looked at him again—that is, if he didn't kill him first. Sanji pulled Zoro's boxers down to his knees, and began laughing helplessly. "Your hair really _is_ green, isn't it?" Zoro began to buck wildly, but Sanji kept his seat firmly. "Woah woah, wild bull, calm down there!"

Two hands and two knees were firmly planted on either side of the writhing swordsman, and a pair of lips kept him still as Sanji rained rough kisses on his body. The gag fell off, and Sanji froze when he heard Zoro speak as he reached his more tender spots.

"Don't." It was not a command. It was a plea.

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "What? Why?" Dexterous fingers and a nimble tongue sashayed over hard muscles and rough skin.

"Because…if you keep doing that…" Zoro panted, "I won't be able to control—nngh!" His last words were cut off as Sanji gently folded his lips over Zoro's hardening cock and hummed, producing vibrations that made Zoro hiss between his teeth. "Goddamnit, cook, what are you trying to do to me?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? Idiot," Sanji mumbled around the load in his mouth. His tongue made its way slowly up his shaft, darting out at the top. The last coherent thoughts that were in Zoro's mind were _I'm going to kill this idiot _and _But damn, this feels really, really good._ It didn't really matter what he thought, because Sanji was doing something down there that made things like rationality and consequences seem unimportant right now. When he came, his entire body strained even further, and suddenly went limp.

The entire time, Zoro had stubbornly prevented any sounds other than an occasional hiss or mumbled curse escape his lips. Sanji frowned, before rubbing his own bulge up against Zoro's thigh, wondering what it would feel like without the thin layers of cloth between skin and skin. Zoro's eyes snapped open at attention and he flipped himself over, trying to crawl away caterpillar-style.

"Oh no, you don't," Sanji growled, grabbing Zoro by the hips and dragging him back. Zoro dug into the wooden floor with his teeth (after all, the strength of his jaw had been much improved by his swordsmanship) and tried to escape with all his might. Sanji looked around and spied a bottle of oil left innocently next to the leftover ribbon.

How convenient. He'd have to thank one of the boys later.

Sanji kicked Zoro onto his back before lunging for the oil. He stuck the bottle into his mouth and scrambled back after the escaping swordsman while unbuckling his pants, wondering what Zoro was going to do when he reached the door. When he saw the swordsman leaning back to get ready to bust the thick wooden door open with his thick skull, he knew that he had to act quickly. It only took a single sweeping kick to throw off Zoro's balance, and once again he dragged Zoro towards him, hip-first.

"Get away from me, you…you…you rapist!"

"Shut up! You just got what was probably the best blowjob of your _life_, so sit still and let me get my dues!"

"No!"

Sanji exhaled angrily and grabbed the trailing ribbon attached to Zoro's arms and secured him once again to the ceiling.

"You bastard! Get me down from here!" Zoro swung like a piñata, and Sanji chuckled darkly.

"Oh, I will. Eventually." A palmful of oil was rubbed along his own throbbing member, and he stood intentionally in front of Zoro just so the man could know what he was about to get.

Zoro's brain raced frantically as he tried to convince the cook to stay the hell away from him. "Aren't you a ladies' man? What would Nami and Robin say if they knew what you were doing? You're not gay, are you? I mean, I'm not gay. You're not gay. We're both straight, so let's just stop this and pretend like it never happened." He suddenly switched tactics. "Please?"

He failed to pull off the 'innocent look' that Chopper and Luffy could command so well.

"No." Sanji whistled cheerfully as he rotated Zoro, stopping him when he saw a Zoro's toned buttocks winking at him. "Okay, Zoro, I've never done this before so it might hurt a little."

"Shit! No! Get away!"

"If you keep moving like that it's probably going to hurt more."

"Then don't do it at all—aaauuugh!"

"Oh, you big baby. That was just my finger."

"Urgh…"

"Now you can scream."

Zoro felt like someone was jamming a red-hot poker up his ass as Sanji squeezed into the tight orifice. He was no stranger to pain, but to be taken like _this_ was just disgraceful.

So, scream he did.

Sanji tried to be gentle, he really did. At least, initially. But when he saw the oh-so-famous Roronoa Zoro bucking and moaning because of _him_, and twisting his head around with beseeching eyes because of _him,_ it pretty much just turned off the empathy switch in his brain and made him go faster. His hips thrust in and out, earning him a grunt and feral snarl with every motion. When he hitched Zoro's hips up to get a better position, he was startled to hear the other man bite back a moan of pleasure. Mission accomplished. The bastard finally liked this.

Sanji knew that he didn't have much time left. "Hey, marimo, tell me who's fuckin' you right now?"

"Shut up…"

Sanji slowed unexpectedly, grinning as Zoro mumbled in complaint. He thrust in slowly with special emphasis with every word.

"I said, who—is—fucking—you—marimo?"

"I—said—shut—up! Nngh!"

Sanji gyrated, letting Zoro feel him from every possible angle. He paused for a moment, allowing himself to recollect his senses and calm down. "Even if you're impossible tight—damn—I can keep going like this if I stop once in a while. But I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Just try it, you asshole."

So he did.

---

"Naa, I want dessert," Luffy whined, looking deploringly at everyone else. He had already managed to find the rest of the meal that Sanji had not served, but the cakes were locked in the fridge. "Can't we go get them now?"

"Hush, Mugiwara. The forbidden love is one that takes time," Franky said sagely.

"You sound like a fangirl."

"Quiet, longnose."

"Should I go check on them?"

"That's called voyeurism, Robin."

"It would only take a moment."

"Hm…alright, go ahead."

Robin crossed her arms, conjuring an eye in the room currently occupied by the two other men. The crew watched as a startled expression crossed her face, and then a slight blush.

Usopp shivered. "If even Robin is disturbed, then no one should go down there."

---

"Damnit, how much stamina do you have?" Zoro panted. He didn't think the cook had it in him at all, but Sanji had been one of the only people to rise after Kuma's attack on Thriller Bark, after all. It shouldn't have been that surprising.

"Enough to make you do whatever I want," Sanji replied, shaking his head of the sweat that had gathered. "Stubborn, aren't you?"

Zoro groaned. He was _this close_ to orgasm, but the shitty cook refused to finish unless he bowed down to him like a dog. He'd never give in. Ever.

But when Sanji twisted his hips and hit that sensitive spot, his head arched back and he let out a guttural groan.

"Say it, marimo. Say my name."

"Fuck you."

Another thrust. Another twist. Another spasm.

_Oh, screw it. I'm just going to finish this,_ Sanji thought. He yanked Zoro up for a better hold and began to bounce the man up and down, inhaling deeply as he took in the scent of body oil, sweat, and steel polish. He pressed his chest into the firm, smooth skin of Zoro's back, with hands exploring every inch of his body. This new position threw Zoro into another convulsion as he fought against the pleasure welling up deep in his belly. Sanji bit harshly into Zoro's neck, relishing the sensation of hot skin in his mouth and leaving his mark with a smirk.

"Mmph…oh, god--! Sanji! _Sanji!"_ Zoro howled any number of obscenities mixed with Sanji's own name as tremor after tremor swept through his body.

There it was. It was about time.

Sanji let himself go with a final thrust, watching how Zoro trembled in his arms. Sanji swayed—this really had been way too tiring for his own good—but took care to untie Zoro from the ceiling before collapsing on top of the weary swordsman. They wheezed on the ground, both jerking and panting heavily.

"So, how was it, marimo?"

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

"Actually, I think you were the asshole this time—"

"Oh, shut up."

"Heh."

"But…" Zoro mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch it."

"I _said_ that it was the best goddamn fuck I've ever had, alright? And, um, Iwouldn'tminddoingitagain." Zoro squirmed out from under Sanji, curling up while facing the wall.

"Hell, yeah!" Sanji went over to the sulking Zoro and untied him, gently massaging his sore wrists and limbs. "Dinner's on the table. Come back into the galley after washing up, okay?" Sanji pulled his pants back on and sauntered out of the room, hips swaying happily.

---

Sanji cleaned up the mess from dinner, puffing on his post-dinner cigarette. The rest of the crew had acted oddly after he had returned, and they had all taken their desserts and fled from the galley. Even Robin avoided his gaze.

The galley door swung open slowly, and Sanji turned to see Zoro rubbing his head with a towel and limping into the kitchen. He had evidently just emerged from the shower.

"Hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Sit down. I'll get some food for you. I haven't eaten, either." Sanji gestured to one of the small tables, and Zoro eased himself gingerly into a chair. Zoro watched silently as Sanji bustled around the kitchen, reheating the food that he had set aside before going off to look for Zoro. A steaming plate was placed in front of him, and he began to eat voraciously. The wilted rose petals and dim candlelight, while cliche, failed to detract from Zoro's own glory. Zoro looked up and thought that Sanji wasn't actually that bad of a guy. Just a jackass.

"Thanks, cook."

Sanji sat down across from Zoro, crushing his cigarette into a small ashtray and taking a bite of his own dinner.

"Happy Valentine's Day, shitty marimo."

"Whatever, ero-cook."

---

A/N: Yes, I know that Sanji sure switched teams quickly right? But I didn't feel like developing the whole "I realize now that I'm doggone horny for you and quite possibly have romantic interests." Instead, it's more of a "I'm freaking horny and you're right there."


End file.
